‘Haven’t You Had Enough Yet?’ — We Need To Talk About Addiction

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By Jessica Guerrieri

Original Source: scarymommy.com

“Haven’t you had enough yet?”

This is the question I asked myself, aloud, on the morning of May 2, 2013. I was hovered over my bathroom sink. My insides felt like they had been poisoned, which, I guess they had, and by my own doing. I could barely withstand my own weight, I was shaking so profoundly. I looked at my reflection in the mirror: a bloated shell of a young woman, harrowed and hung over.

Again.

I needed to pull myself together in order to get to my job where I worked as a special education teacher at a junior high, in Northern California. From the outside, I looked like I had it together: newly married, new house, trying for a baby. But everyday a terrifying thought would spin around in my head: all I’ve ever wanted is to become a mother, but I am willing to abandon that dream completely because I want to drink more. I knew that night I’d come home and do it all over again.

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