Original Source: soberinfo.com
America hit a milestone in 2015, and it wasn’t a good one: for the first time in our nation’s history, we saw more heroin overdose fatalities than gun homicides. As the opioid crisis continues to ravage families, social media has become flooded with parents lamenting the loss of their children. The sheer volume of tragedies can have a numbing effect, but occasionally a particular story stands out.
Delaney Farrell “made everybody laugh all the time,” according to her father. In 2013, though, the vibrant young lady began experimenting with heroin when friends at a party talked her into trying it. She became addicted almost immediately, and four short years later, she was dead. Delaney passed away on July 1, 2017, after battling her drug addiction almost from the day it began.
Her mother was understandably crushed, as any parent would be—but not surprised; in a video the family posted, she said “I prepared myself for this day for a long time… My daughter died, in a sense, back in 2013.”
Both the video and Delaney’s obituary featured a poem she sent her sister about battling her addiction. Her family has publicized it in the hopes that it will prevent others from making the same mistake. It captures perfectly a phenomenon Dr. Indra Cidambi describes: “…most users want to kick the habit but are truly unable to do so. That is why addiction is a disease and not a behavioral issue.”
Delaney’s parents were criticized by some for publishing their daughter’s poem, but stood by their decision to let others know their daughter’s innermost struggles. “If it could help even just one person it would be worth it,” her mother Bridget told Fox 6.
The poem is reprinted in its entirety below.
Funny, I don’t remember no good dope days. I remember walking for miles in a dope fiend haze. I remember sleeping in houses that had no electric. I remember being called a junkie, but I couldn’t accept it. I remember hanging out in abandos that were empty and dark. I remember shooting up in the bathroom and falling out at the park. I remember nodding out in front of my sisters kid. I remember not remembering half of the things that I did. I remember the dope man’s time frame, just ten more minutes. I remember those days being so sick that I just wanted to end it. I remember the birthdays and holiday celebrations. All the things I missed during my incarceration. I remember overdosing on my bedroom floor. I remember my sisters cry and my dad having to break down the door. I remember the look on his face when I opened my eyes, thinking today was the day that his baby had died. I remember blaming myself when my mom decided to leave. I remember the guilt I felt in my chest making it hard to breathe. I remember caring so much but not knowing how to show it. and I know to this day that she probably don’t even know it. I remember feeling like I lost all hope. I remember giving up my body for the next bag of dope. I remember only causing pain, destruction and harm. I remember the track marks
the needles left on my arm. I remember watching the slow break up of my home. I remember thinking my family would be better off if I just left them alone. I remember looking in the mirror at my sickly completion. I remember not recognizing myself in my own Damn reflection. I remember constantly obsessing over my next score but what I remember most is getting down on my knees and asking God to save me cuz I don’t want to do this no more!!!