Cross Faded: Young and Unsure

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The first time I got “cross faded” was my sophomore year in high school. I was at a party with older students from my school and I remember drinking all night and taking double shots of vodka. One of the cute older boys at the party, Allan, asked me if I wanted to smoke.

Marijuana, something I had heard classmates talk about, was a drug that I had never explored. Even though I was unsure of whether I should try it or not, I wanted to appear cool and impress Allan. He explained that I needed to wrap my lips around the pipe and breath in deeply, holding the smoke in my lungs so it can “work”. The pipe was being passed around the circle, and now it was my turn.
As I sucked in the smoke, I held it in my lungs. It burned. As I breathed the smoke out, my throat felt as though it was on fire. I couldn’t stop coughing and tried soothing it with my drink. After five minutes of torture my throat calmed down. And then everything got very hazy. I remember having “the spins” and rushing outside for fresh air and a safe place to throw up. My friends’ parents, who were chaperoning the party came outside to make sure I was okay. How nice. I remember them even making a couple of jokes and laughing at my expense.
I tried to impress a cute older boy at my school and overlooked my inexperience with smoking weed. Looking back on that night, I wish there was someone there who could recognize that I was too young and too drunk and should definitely have not smoked. I also wish I knew more about the dangers of marijuana and the nauseating effects it has when mixed with alcohol.
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