Last month, I celebrated 27 years of continuous sobriety. The only time I've put mood altering substances in my body is for a couple of surgeries. When I've had to take potent pain medications in sobriety, I've immediately contacted my support group. Why is this? Today, I'm accountable and answer to my friends and family.
This wasn't always the case. Years ago I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Crohn's is a chronic, often painful autoimmune disorder for which there is no cure. There was a time when I was on at least fifteen prescription drugs for the treatment of this disease and the majority of these pills packed a powerful punch, especially when chased back with alcohol.
I'm a mental health professional by trade, so you'd think I'd know better! No such luck. Based on the variety of drugs and medications abused when I was in graduate school, I'd venture to say numerous mental healthcare workers just like me also suffer from substance abuse.
When my own drug use would begin to get the best of me, I'd get involved with a support group, give up the alcohol, but then lie about all of the pills I was taking. I ran this pathetic rat race over and over again. Around this same time I was working as a family therapist at a psychiatric facility. One day I was groggier than usual and running late for a family therapy session (While in addiction I had a bad habit of forgetting whether or not I'd taken pain medication and end up swallowing triple doses!). As I entered the family therapy room, I said to another therapist, "I really feel like my medications are doing me in," and he said, "You need those medicines for your Crohn's!" His words fueled my denial.
Eventually, I entered a treatment program to detox off all of the pills I was taking for the Crohn's. Once completely detoxed and clean, the pain returned and I found myself hospitalized. I was told I'd need to get back on all of the medications I'd just detoxed off of the previous month! For several minutes my addictive mind said, "Well, there you go! You have no choice!"
Well, I did have a choice. While in addiction treatment, I'd had a huge awakening about just how irresponsible my behavior had been before sobriety. Looking at my past destructive actions I thought, "I can't go backwards" and so I didn't.
During 2010, my body was plagued with sever Crohn's disease. Again, I was told I needed to take strong narcotics and one more time I said no. A little over a decade after I began my sobriety I'd studied for a PhD in Holistic Nutrition. The program wasn't conventional, but my studies were as difficult as those I'd undertaken for my Master's degree in Clinical Psychology from a traditional school. With this alternative degree I learned how I could abstain from addictive medications and live relatively pain free from Crohn's disease.
Lying in bed in 2010, the thought of alcohol, narcotics, sleep medication, and illegal drugs did cross my mind, but only for a few minutes. I knew I was still accountable to my husband of 33 years, my children born and raised in sobriety, my clients grasping for recovery and those who had read my books. So, after getting a "pep" talk from my support group, I pulled out my study materials from the alternative PhD program and began pouring over the information for solutions. Answers were found and today I'm pain free.
We might need to use traditional medications, even potent mood altering drugs in sobriety for an illness or surgery, but regardless of the situation we still need to be willing to go to any lengths to maintain our sobriety. If this should be the case for you, be accountable and let your support group know what's going on and the medications you are or will be taking. Remember, today you are accountable and people are depending on you to stay sober.
This wasn't always the case. Years ago I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Crohn's is a chronic, often painful autoimmune disorder for which there is no cure. There was a time when I was on at least fifteen prescription drugs for the treatment of this disease and the majority of these pills packed a powerful punch, especially when chased back with alcohol.
I'm a mental health professional by trade, so you'd think I'd know better! No such luck. Based on the variety of drugs and medications abused when I was in graduate school, I'd venture to say numerous mental healthcare workers just like me also suffer from substance abuse.
When my own drug use would begin to get the best of me, I'd get involved with a support group, give up the alcohol, but then lie about all of the pills I was taking. I ran this pathetic rat race over and over again. Around this same time I was working as a family therapist at a psychiatric facility. One day I was groggier than usual and running late for a family therapy session (While in addiction I had a bad habit of forgetting whether or not I'd taken pain medication and end up swallowing triple doses!). As I entered the family therapy room, I said to another therapist, "I really feel like my medications are doing me in," and he said, "You need those medicines for your Crohn's!" His words fueled my denial.
Eventually, I entered a treatment program to detox off all of the pills I was taking for the Crohn's. Once completely detoxed and clean, the pain returned and I found myself hospitalized. I was told I'd need to get back on all of the medications I'd just detoxed off of the previous month! For several minutes my addictive mind said, "Well, there you go! You have no choice!"
Well, I did have a choice. While in addiction treatment, I'd had a huge awakening about just how irresponsible my behavior had been before sobriety. Looking at my past destructive actions I thought, "I can't go backwards" and so I didn't.
During 2010, my body was plagued with sever Crohn's disease. Again, I was told I needed to take strong narcotics and one more time I said no. A little over a decade after I began my sobriety I'd studied for a PhD in Holistic Nutrition. The program wasn't conventional, but my studies were as difficult as those I'd undertaken for my Master's degree in Clinical Psychology from a traditional school. With this alternative degree I learned how I could abstain from addictive medications and live relatively pain free from Crohn's disease.
Lying in bed in 2010, the thought of alcohol, narcotics, sleep medication, and illegal drugs did cross my mind, but only for a few minutes. I knew I was still accountable to my husband of 33 years, my children born and raised in sobriety, my clients grasping for recovery and those who had read my books. So, after getting a "pep" talk from my support group, I pulled out my study materials from the alternative PhD program and began pouring over the information for solutions. Answers were found and today I'm pain free.
We might need to use traditional medications, even potent mood altering drugs in sobriety for an illness or surgery, but regardless of the situation we still need to be willing to go to any lengths to maintain our sobriety. If this should be the case for you, be accountable and let your support group know what's going on and the medications you are or will be taking. Remember, today you are accountable and people are depending on you to stay sober.
